Spare Change

I don’t do well with change. I like order. I live by my schedule. I prefer structure. I love consistency. I think it has to do with my OCD. Any type of interruptions to my routine is like wreaking havoc to my very core. I have to talk my irrational mind down from the ledge because I know it’ll all work out and things will be okay. I. Will. Be. Okay. After some convincing, I see another day without giving up.

I would like to change my job situation because I am underemployed. While I’m thankful for being paid to do a temporary job that is in high demand during this global pandemic; I assist registered nurses and respiratory therapists with onboarding to hospitals and now vaccination clinics across the country. We’re busy, which is great.. “job security,” whatever that means. I’ve applied/interviewed for four permanent positions at this company I’m temping for and haven’t gotten an offer yet, which is frustrating. Trying to maintain work/life balance, keep my sanity, yet trying to prove I’m worth hiring. It’s taking a toll on my confidence. I’m afraid I’ll keep hearing: “No,” or hearing nothing at all. It’s just discouraging.

I’d like to have a change of scenery: a long overdue, extended, overseas holiday to explore nature, museums, seeing all the sights, and fall in love with life again. It may help put things in perspective. Do I work to live? Or live to work? I live to.. live! Money may make the world go round, but I create the currency and I spend my time the way I so choose!

I refuse.. to conform.

I’ma light a fuse.. under my ass.

Not to amuse you.

Don’t get it confused.

No more excuses.

All the interviews.

Ya know, the who’s who?

Gotta pay my dues.

Year long blues.

Fuck the news!

All I wanna do is cruise and schmooze.

Plot another ruse.

Where’s the booze?

Hit the snooze.

Prepare to lose.

Step in my shoes.

I’ll be your muse.

We’ve all got screws loose.

We need to diffuse society’s warped views.

Just don’t abuse.. your power.

I bruise.. easily.

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