A picture, photographed or graphically designed, by yours truly attached with a creative written response of a thousand-ish words. Could be a tall tale, inspired by a true experience, a random journal entry, or an analysis of the photograph or design itself! Dealer’s choice.
It’s been a minute since I’ve last posted. Half a year. Goodness. Well, life happens. Today, I decided to write in my Complete the Story journal. Each page has a couple sentences, leaving the last sentence unfinished for the writer to… you guessed it… to complete the story!
The darkness was thick and suffocating like a heavy blanket had been thrown on the world. He had to get over the wall, had to get across the border before the gringos caught sight of him, a desperate Mexicano trying to find a better life. The Polícia Federal are crooked and take advantage of their positional power. He’d been in and out of celda since he was an adolescente, like his Padre, abuelo, tío, and hermanos. Guess it runs in the familia. None of them graduated from escuela. They were too busy doing time and paying their fines to get out, which sometimes required criminal means. Can’t win playing fair. Gotta play their dirty game.
All he wanted to do was play fútbol. He had ran enough in his life, he has great cardio, and he’d rather play a game he chose… for once. The celebrity and dinero doesn’t appeal to him, but he guesses it comes with the territory. To have a stable home sounds like a pipe dream. He’s one step closer to a different life. He’s hoping it’s better than the one he’s been running from. It has to be. He’s heard nothing but good things about the Estados Unidos. “The American Dream.” Sounds excelente.
Maybe he could even meet a chica. Fall in amor. Mexicanos are romantics. They take amor seriously. They say Spanish is the language of amor. He could woo an Americana with his accent. Being bilingual is sexy, right? He’s got that going for him. He learned Inglés on the inside. All they could get on TV was PBS, Sesame Street, the kids show. One upside to being locked up.
He’s gonna take this leap of faith for himself and for those who came before him. He’s finally looking forward to the future.
Well, a lot has happened in the past year. I’ll try my best to give you the SparkNotes version. Last May, I proposed to my partner on our 4yr anniversary. If you click the previous sentence that is underlined (hyperlink), it will direct you a website showcasing how I proposed.. and his answer.
Nine days later, I had an unfortunate misstep and injured my ankle and needed surgery, however my temp job did not want to give me time off to do so, therefore they let me go.
I found myself.. having a lot of time on my hands so I could heal, recover, and reevaluate the direction of my life. Literally, one step at a time. I took the advice of my therapist(s): redirect my negative thoughts into productive, positive thoughts/actions and.. start wedding planning. Every girl’s dream! Well, almost every girl, haha.. I’m a simple gal who has been a bridesmaid in a few weddings and I know I’m anything but traditional.. including the groom-to-be.
In preparation of proposing, I had an inkling that Jaimie would ask me if I had a date in mind. I thought a year engagement would be sufficient, so I looked a calendar year ahead, and discovered the day before our 5yr anniversary was.. Friday the 13th! It just so happened to be.. Jaimie’s favorite horror film, his favorite number, he has the number 13 tattooed on his forearm, and his previous cat’s name was named Thirteen. Plus, it was close enough to our anniversary date to where we didn’t have to remember two different dates. Just a day apart. Not bad. Without even realizing it, we had our wedding “theme.” Most people predicted I would have a Disney themed wedding, however I didn’t have any real expectations or preconceived plan or elaborate dream wedding in mind. I knew I wanted our day to be a collaborative event. Representative of both Jaimie and I. Jaimie not only said yes, but he was on board for the Friday the 13th date and theme. I mean, I knew he would be. How could he not be intrigued? I also knew he’s not a fan of weddings, in general, so it was effortlessly easy to entice him with a fun concept!
I knew Jaimie was the one on our first date. Not exactly “love at first sight,” but I had a gut feeling that our chemistry had potential to be off the charts. I later discovered this feeling is called:
This overwhelming feeling drove me to do some pretty presumptuous things.. such as.. buying a wedding ring for Jaimie.. after dating for only a year. I was helping a recently engaged friend of mine pick out a wedding ring for her future husband at a jewelry store near where we just had brunch. This jewelry store was having a sale. A store closing sale. Up to ninety percent off. My friend chose a ring. The ring she didn’t choose, but I had liked, I asked the sales clerk how much it was. She said it was originally five hundred something, but it’s sale price was less than fifty. I couldn’t believe it. Seemed too good to be true. I consulted with my friend and before she could answer, an older gentleman overheard us and interjected: “If you were proposing to me, I’d say Yes. Go for it!”
I let my folks know of my recent purchase and my half baked future plan to propose with no further details. They insisted that I ask for Jaimie’s parents’ blessing. I shrugged off their suggestion as it was an outdated, old fashioned tradition. And yet.. I couldn’t shake the thought that his folks are old fashioned, so it made sense to ask them. They laughed.. and.. laughed. Ultimately, I did not get their blessing. And I didn’t blame them. We had only been together a year, so I understood their hesitancy.
This minor setback did not deter me from purchasing my wedding dress a couple months later. I was on my way to the produce section at Meijer, I had to pass the women’s clothing dept, all their new Easter/spring dresses were out.. there I saw.. the perfect little white dress.. I grabbed it, bought it, put it in the back of my closet, and forgot about it.. Couple weeks later, I was putting laundry away.. in the back of my closet.. and I saw that perfect little white dress.. which reminded me, I needed to try it on. I hung it up on the back of the bathroom door, unbuttoned it, and noticed.. Well, let me preface by saying Jaimie doesn’t usually sign his artwork. He signs: “As you wish.” A quote from the movie The Princess Bride, which means “I love you.” So, I noticed the dress tag said: “As U Wish.” The company name is what Jaimie signs on his artwork! Like I said, “perfect little white dress.” I just didn’t know how “perfect.”
I knew I wanted to propose in a creative way.. since Jaimie and I are both artists in our own ways. I had numerous ideas: custom photo puzzle of us with a comic bubble coming from my mouth, “Will you marry me?” Or a photo slideshow of us throughout our relationship, maybe even recruit our family members and friends to contribute with their approval of our relationship by spelling out “will you marry me” in each photo. I also knew I wanted to propose on our anniversary. Originally, it was going to be on our 3yr anniversary during our vacation in New York City, however COVID threw a wrench in that plan. We cancelled our trip. Also, I had lost my job of 5.5yrs. I was in between multiple temp, freelance jobs and I did not have the confidence to follow through with my proposal plan(s).
Luckily, with the encouragement of a dear friend, he told me: “Just go for it because love doesn’t wait for the right time.” I decided a week before our 4yr anniversary to make plans to propose. Once everything was ready, I asked Jaimie’s folks again for their blessing and this time.. they did not laugh. His mom happily cried and they gave their blessing. Whew, I couldn’t believe I had sat on that ring for 3yrs! I asked Jaimie the biggest question I had ever asked.. Anyone. Ever. Click here to find out how.
I designed our wedding invitations, I created a Facebook event, for those who weren’t on social media, I texted them or emailed them.
Our friend was kind enough to offer his services as our officiant. He was dressed as a Camp Crystal Lake Counselor: polo shirt, short shorts, tube socks, whistle necklace, ball cap, sunglasses, and clipboard. We collaborated on the wedding ceremony officiant script. If you click the previous sentence that is underlined (hyperlink), it will direct you to it.
We sprinkled the spooky throughout: our attire, accessories, shoes, props, décor, food, even my hair! See if you can spot ’em all!
Our hockey masked flower girl was Jaimie’s 11yr old niece who did a fantastic job of creepily stalking about the park. Speaking of the park, I had researched multiple local parks that would compliment our Friday the 13th theme. A lot of them were connected to the city or county and they wanted thousands of dollars for five minutes, which was crazy! I finally found a park, Lindner Park Nature Preserve, that did not have a website, only a phone number that they never answered; nor was there a way to leave a message, thus I deemed it.. the park. We decided since we couldn’t ask permission for having our wedding ceremony there, we’d have to go Guerrilla Style.
I have internally debated over the years about sharing this story on social media, however I have only shared it with a few select individuals from time to time when the occasion called for it. I consider myself a private person for many reasons, number one being for my safety and well being. As I type this, I keep editing it and then promptly deleting it and thinking: “Who cares? I mean, really? But then.. Maybe.. I’ll do it for me because I can’t stop thinking of its importance.. all these years later? Yeah, that’s enough, right? Well, here it goes..“
It was the year 2000, I was in the seventh grade, first period music class was being held in the cafeteria, we had a substitute, thus it naturally became a free study period to do as we pleased. I chose to catch up on homework, being the studious kid I was. I found myself caught in the middle of a paper wad fight between two boys. I quickly became annoyed so I collected the stray wads on and around my work-space as they came and sat on them. The bell rang, one of the boys demanded I give him back the paper wads, I stubbornly refused, he persisted, but I stayed put. The bell rang again, he finally acknowledged my unwavering tenacity, and he retreated in a panic per his tardiness which garnered an automatic demerit.
My never-ending curiosity was ignited, so my girl friend helped me open each paper wad to discover the reason for his persistence. One by one, we unraveled doodles, rough drafts of assignments, blanks, and then finally.. There was an organized hit list in his handwriting, first victim was the music teacher who was absent that day, who coincidentally was a neighbor of mine. The list continued: fellow classmates who held popular statuses, infamous teachers, an unpopular Office Administrator, and the rest were unbeknownst to us. How I knew it was his handwriting was because I knew this kid, we grew up down the block from one another, we were in the same classes together, our sisters were in the same Brownies/Girl Scouts troop, I had been to his house numerous times, I knew his father was a Police Officer and an avid gun collector (recalling his locked wooden/glass case in the living room).
My girl friend and I quickly discussed what we should do: she asked, “Is that a..?” I nodded. She proceeded, “Do you think he’s capable of doing something like this?!” I nodded. [crickets] I had flashbacks, seeing black and white surveillance footage of kids fleeing their school cafeteria the year before on every TV channel and thought: “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let this go.” I handed her the hit list wad and said: “Give this to that substitute, tell him everything, if he doesn’t seem interested, then take it to your dad!” Her father was our Math teacher and the head football coach who tolerated no nonsense. I continued in the same breath whilst gathering my books, “I better hurry so he doesn’t suspect (“he” as in the boy), we have second period together too!“
He was expelled from Butler County schools for two years, I heard from my mom that he was home-schooled by his mother, and attended counseling until.. he was deemed safe to return to the public school system. We saw each other again in our ninth grade Civics class, he sat right behind me, I silently feared for my life everyday for a year, never speaking of it again until well after my academic career.
Fast forward years later, I decided to move out on my own, I went to a local furniture store to compare prices, I saw him from across the sales floor, he was their delivery employee, sporting a lower lumbar back brace support belt with suspenders, I abruptly averted my gaze, formulated a quick exit strategy, so I “browsed” in record time and left before he noticed me.
I find myself thinking of this often, now more than ever, and I think it’s important to.. Go with your gut, listen to your conscience, and act. I think I was meant to be there. I was at the right place, at the right time, and under the right circumstances to.. Help this boy, my school, and myself. I felt a duty to do so because I was fortunate enough to realize this was a serious matter. At the age of 12. Yes, 12. I am proud of myself for acting. I could have just.. disregarded it, went on with my day, maybe gossiped about it to a couple classmates, or occasionally pondered.. But by then, it may have been too late. This was an invaluable lesson that taught me.. That the real world is a scary place, but one person can make a difference. I chose and choose to be that one person. I implore you to be that one person. I’m counting on you. You can count on me.
*To those few who are my junior high classmates (their parents too), you may or may not of heard of this almost happening at our/your child's school, but it's true. I thought of you and am thankful you're still here today. I am thankful I am still here. I hope you are too.**Originally posted via social media on February 15th, 2018
***Re-shared via social media onMay 25th, 2022****Utilized writingprompt to share via blog:"Have you ever spoken up when you saw something going on that was wrong? Were you scared? What ended up happening?"
What songs are on your self-care playlist? Choose your favorite lyrics and tell us your story using those lyrics.
“Where words fail, music speaks.” -Hans Christian Andersen
I’ve been struggling with being able to write my blog recently, so this seemed fitting to share. This first song is also featured on my About Blogger section as my self-proclaimed anthem.
♫ ‘Cause I’m a warrior, I fight for my life Like a soldier all through the night And I won’t give up, I will survive, I’m a warrior And I’m stronger, that’s why I’m alive I will conquer, time after time I’ll never falter, I will survive, I’m a warrior ♪
I worry about the future because of my anxiety. I’ve redefined myself as not a worrier anymore, but a warrior.
♫ Hush, just stop There’s nothing you can do or say I’ve had enough I’m not your property as from today You might think that I won’t make it on my own But now I’m Stronger than yesterday Now it’s nothing but my way My loneliness ain’t killing me no more I, I’m stronger Then I ever thought that I could be I used to go with the flow Didn’t really care ’bout me You might think that I can’t take it, but you’re wrong ‘Cause now I’m Stronger than yesterday ♪
Crying can be perceived as a sign of weakness, however crying demonstrates how strong one is. I’ve been struggling with my emotions. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m mad. I cry when I am in pain. I cry when I am.. overwhelmed.
♫ (Ou mata e matagi) I have crossed the horizon to find you (Ou loto mamaina toa) I know your name (Manatu atu) They have stolen the heart from inside you (Taku pelepele) But this does not define you (Manatunatu) This is not who you are You know who you are ♪ [whispers] Who you truly are
The mix of languages being sung sends chills across my skin. This slow motion scene of the hero/protagonist, Moana, confidently walking toward the villain/antagonist, Te Kā, shows courage because Moana knows deep down that Te Kā will not harm her.
“Hurt people hurt people.”
“Her bark is worse than her bite.” Means that they seem much more unpleasant or hostile than they really are.
I struggle with the light and dark within myself. I am taken back by people who show me grace and understanding during my difficult moments.
♫ I’ve been staring at the edge of the water ‘Long as I can remember Never really knowing why I wish I could be the perfect daughter But I come back to the water No matter how hard I try Every turn I take Every trail I track Every path I make Every road leads back To the place I know where I cannot go Where I long to be See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me And no one knows How far it goes If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me One day I’ll know If I go, there’s just no telling how far I’ll go ♪
Why do humans like shiny things? (haha, I know how ironic) “Researchers in the evolutionary aesthetics tradition have suggested that people prefer shiny objects because glossiness connotes water.”
I am drawn to water. I feel at peace when I am near a body of water. I am most comfortable in water. Weightless. Free. My dream home is waterfront.
♫ This is for my girls all around the world Who have come across a man that don’t respect your worth Thinkin’ all women should be seen and not heard So what do we do girls, shout out loud Lettin ’em know were gonna stand our ground So lift your hands high and wave ’em proud Take a deep breath and say it loud Never can, never will Can’t hold us down Nobody can hold us down Never can, never will ♪
The double standard of how a girl/lady/woman/female should feel, think, speak, behave, &/or dress is exhausting. We are worthy just as any other man.
♫ The whole world’s scared, so I swallow the fear The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer So cool in line, and we try, try, try But we try too hard and it’s a waste of my time Done looking for the critics ’cause they’re everywhere They don’t like my jeans, they don’t get my hair Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time Why do we do that, why do I do that? Why do I do that? Yeah, oh, oh pretty, pretty please Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel Like you’re less than fuckin’ perfect Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing You’re fuckin’ perfect to me, yeah You’re perfect, you’re perfect ♪
“You may not always be perfect, but you will always be perfect for me.”
Accepting someone as they are, flaws and all, is true unconditional love. Cherish it. I appreciate those who are patient with me. “Thank you for putting up with me.”
♫ Never win first place, I don’t support the team I can’t take direction, and my socks are never Clean Teachers dated me, my parents hated me I was always in a fight cuz I can’t do nothin’ Right Everyday I fight a war against the mirror I can’t take the person starin’ back at me I’m a hazard to myself Don’t let me get me I’m my own worst enemy It’s bad when you annoy yourself So irritating Don’t wanna be my friend no more I wanna be somebody else I wanna be somebody else, yeah ♪
I am my own worst critic. I get stuck inside my head often. I cannot stand to look at my reflection. Being at war with myself is exhausting. I am the bully and the victim. Sometimes, I need to be rescued from.. myself.
♫ When I was a young boy I was scared of growing up I didn’t understand it but I was terrified of love Felt like I had to choose but it was outta my control I needed to be saved, I was going crazy on my own It took me years to tell my mother, I expected the worst I gathered all the courage in the world She said, “I love you no matter what I just want you to be happy and always be who you are” She wrapped her arms around me Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not ‘Cause I love you no matter what” She loves me no matter what ♪
I didn’t have to come out to my parents. My mom said she already knew:
“Ever since you were young, I noticed you have so much love to give. I knew your love was for.. everyone. Not just the opposite sex.”
If that doesn’t explain accepting and loving me “no matter what,” I don’t know what does. As for my dad, when my mom asked him about my sexuality, he simply said, “Her sex life is none of my business.” Well, there ya have it. My folks accept me “no matter what.”
♫ We don’t have time left to regret, hold on And well take more than common sense, hold on So stop your wondering, take a stand, hold on ‘Cause there’s more to life than just to live, hold on ‘Cause an empty room can be so loud There’s too many tears to drown them out So hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on One single smile, a helping hand, hold on Its not that hard to be a friend, hold on So don’t give up, stand ’til the end, hold on ‘Cause there’s more to life than just to live, hold on ‘Cause an empty room can be so loud There’s too many tears to drown them out So hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on ♪
When I am in physical pain, I hold onto my own hand and squeeze it. I hold on. I hold on for dear life and endure until it passes.
♫ I can almost see it That dream I’m dreaming But, there’s a voice inside my head saying You’ll never reach it Every step I’m taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I, I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb The struggles I’m facing The chances I’m taking Sometimes might knock me down, but No, I’m not breaking I may not know it But these are the moments, that I’m gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep going And I, I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on ♪
Progress isn’t a straight line or level for that matter. It’s an upwards climb with many obstacles along the way. There may be times where I lose, but I have to keep trying and not let my struggles break my spirit. Rise above the bullshit and face it head on.
♫ Party girls don’t get hurt Can’t feel anything, when will I learn? I push it down, push it down I’m the one “for a good time call” Phone’s blowin’ up, ringin’ my doorbell I feel the love, feel the love
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink 3x Throw ’em back ’til I lose count
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier From the chandelier I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist Like it doesn’t exist I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night Feel my tears as they dry I’m gonna swing from the chandelier From the chandelier
But I’m holding on for dear life Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight Help me, I’m holding on for dear life Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight, on for tonight
Sun is up, I’m a mess Gotta get out now, gotta run from this Here comes the shame, here comes the shame
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink 3x Throw ’em back ’til I lose count
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier From the chandelier I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist Like it doesn’t exist I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night Feel my tears as they dry I’m gonna swing from the chandelier From the chandelier
But I’m holding on for dear life Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight Help me, I’m holding on for dear life Won’t look down, won’t open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight On for tonight, on for tonight
‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight Oh, I’m just holding on for tonight On for tonight, on for tonight ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight ‘Cause I’m just holding on for tonight Oh, I’m just holding on for tonight On for tonight, on for tonight ♪
I included all of the lyrics for this song because the repetition is important for addiction. It’s a vicious cycle. Filling up on a substance to feel empty inside. Where your ultimate goal is to forget your own memories. Unfortunately, all you’re doing is creating more problems instead finding a healthy solution.
If money didn't exist and there were no limits, what would your dream occupation be? How would you spend your days?
I would spend my days sitting upon a fluffy cloud, behind a large wooden desk, and before a mile long line of frustrated people who have come to me for.. ideas! I’d be the “Idea Person.” A Creative Problem Solver or Creative Consultant, if you will. These people have hit a roadblock, brain fart, or dead end and need assistance with an idea or ideas about anything under the sun: what outfit to wear, what dish to fix for dinner, how to respond to that person who’s been ghosting them, what to gift whoever for whatever occasion, how to decorate their home, what to name their new pet, what topic to write about on their school paper, what to say in their upcoming speech, how to arrange their furniture, etc. My brain never turns off and I love to come up with innovative/creative ideas to help people solve their unique obstacles!
Imagine your life is now a best-selling book. Write a summary for the back or inside cover.
Three steps forward and two steps back. Allison couldn’t walk until she was two years old. Hell, she was terrified to crawl! The rumor amongst the locals is she descends from mermaid or shark ancestors because of her numerous rows of sharp teeth. Nonetheless, she’s a Mythical Goddess! She may be a fish out of water, but she goes with the flow.. to survive. This heroine has to decide whether to rescue the Dominus in Distress, the stray animal, or the lonely child while trying not to lose herself along the way. Go ahead, turn the page to find out what “Dominus” means because now you’re curious. Come on down the rabbit hole and enjoy the fall. You’ll fall in love with Allison’s Adventures. Her name literally spells: “all is on.”
Write a letter to a former teacher about where you are [now] and what impact they had on you.
I ran into my elementary Speech Therapist at the grocery store a couple years ago So, I did get a chance to tell her what I was up to at that moment and thank her In honor of Teacher’s Appreciation Week this week May 3rd – 7th
Dear Ms. Lloyd, I travel the world as a Communications Specialist. I interact with dozens of Design Engineers from all the over the country, Canada, Mexico, France, and India. Being able to speak with every level of people, that’s all thanks to you!
You helped teach me how to speak so others can understand me and comprehend my words. This means more than I ever thought about before. I see others struggle speaking because of their speech impediments and getting lost in translation with others.
Spending those two years with you was time well spent with how I am now able to communicate with the world! You helped give me confidence! I’m no longer afraid to raise my hand or speak up for myself! Some would say I’m a Chatty Cathy, haha!
You’ve helped open so many doors for me in regards to career opportunities! I mean, come on, a “Communications” Specialist! My job title is verbally communicating in front of a group of people. How crazy is that?! I’ve also given a Maid of Honor speech, a Valedictorian speech at my college graduation, and [now] I speak/share my writing with a virtual Journaling Workshop every week.
I’d say I’m a success story! And I’ll say it again, “I’m a success story!” because I like being able to pronounce words correctly. It feels good!
How well do these labels other people have given me.. fit?
Well, not so well.. Appearance alone, people presume I’m attention-seeking because of my mohawk and bright fashion style.
I believe I’m just expressing myself. Letting my freak flag fly so other “black sheep, weirdos, and different” people feel comfortable around me. An unspoken icebreaker. We all belong.. somewhere.
“Come sit over here next to me.”
I think if we took the time to get to know each other, we’d label each other less.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand-ish Words 